Choose How You Want to Feel

The Desire Map

You know those people who just downright inspire you? Those people who every time they open their mouth you just feel like they are speaking directly to you?  That’s how I feel about Danielle LaPorte.

I’ve mentioned Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map here before (see my posts on The Desire Map, Choosing Abundance, and Vulnerability) and I just can’t get enough of her. I’ve read her book The Fire Starter Sessions multiple times now and I cannot stop raving about how much her Desire Map book/program has changed me life.

There have been some challenges happening in my personal life lately. Things that make me want to get defensive. hurt. angry. retreat to the emotional level of a five-year old.

In tough situations, these are the natural reactions of our ego. protect. shelter. shield us from the emotional blow.

But these reactions often only drive us further from what we actually want.

Have you ever been in a fight with someone and been so angry that you pushed them away, when all you actually wanted was to feel closer? Have you ever felt so sad, a sadness so deep that it chilled to the bone, when all you actually wanted was to feel radiantly happy?

Do you want to be angry or do you want to be at peace? Do you want to be sad or do you want to be content? Do you want to be right or do you want to be free?

The beauty of this life is that we get to choose how we want to feel. We can’t control how other people think, feel, or act, but we always get to choose how we want to feel.

Choose How You Want to Feel

In The Desire Map, Danielle walks you through how to create your own list of Core Desired Feelings. The idea is that instead of living our life based off of empty goals or a to-do list, our Core Desired Feelings and how we want to feel should be the driver behind every goal, decision, and step of this life. When we’re living by our Core Desired Feelings, we become unstoppable. At least, that’s what I’ve found.

Things have been feeling way off-center in my world so this week I made sure to keep my Core Desired Feelings list nearby. I desire to live in abundance and feel aligned, strong, free, and secure. It’s easy to focus on creating these feelings when life feels good and settled. The real challenge is creating these feelings when things feel way out of alignment and messy.

And when life feels messy in these down moments, I have to keep reminding myself that I have the power to create my Core Desired Feelings. And I always have the power to choose how I want to feel.

How do you want to feel? How can you create these feelings in your own life?

And, if you’re interested in getting in touch with your Core Desired Feelings, I recommend checking out Danielle’s website and getting The Desire Map on audio. 

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  1. says

    sonnet, i just love these posts. i always feel like you are speaking directly to me and it also makes me want to read the fire starter sessions.

    i’m the first to admit that i can be my own worst enemy. i am so hard on myself with everything with the feeling of needing to be perfect and also comparing myself to others on a regular basis. all the while asking myself “why is this so important to you??”

    i came to the realization very recently that #1- the only person i can count on is myself and therefore cannot allow my emotions to run rampant when others don’t follow through on things which they promised. and #2- the only person holding me back is myself. therefore, i’ve been working towards personal goals i had previously pushed aside as a matter of convenience or “i don’t have time” or whatever. i’ve been consciously trying to be more positive and not let things get to me.

    thank you for allowing the space for me to share <3 xo.

    • Sonnet says

      Thanks Caitlin! I can totally relate to the feelings of perfection and always comparing yourself – isn’t that the worst?! I love your realizations and approach to focusing on yourself and your own goals. It always feels like personal development work is so hard, but the results are always worth it. Thanks for sharing. :)

  2. Kiri says

    Wow! I really look forward to reading your posts and this is definitely no exception. I feel like you intuitively know what we all need to hear. How do you do that?!

    This part literally gave me chills:
    “Have you ever been in a fight with someone and been so angry that you pushed them away, when all you actually wanted was to feel closer? Have you ever felt so sad, a sadness so deep that it chilled to the bone, when all you actually wanted was to feel radiantly happy?”

    Wow-ee! It gave me a lot of clarity. Thank you!

  3. Jill says

    Dying by inches gives life clarity, even though it feels like it’s eating my happiness in huge mouthfuls.

    I’ve got MS, so I find that the desire to feel healthy, or even just to feel less sick tends to overwhelm things. It’s always out of reach, and even for all the love I have in my life it never seems like quite enough.

    I cope by having a career that I love, and for as long as I can do it, I’ll be fine. But watching it slip away as I weaken, that’s hard. I’m not sure how to be content with that.

  4. Lindi says

    Sonnet..You are the bomb baby! I love your posts and crucial suggestions for a healthier happier life ! I wish you were one of my children…I feel so proud of you! Peace my girl…and keep on keepin’ on ! xox

  5. John says

    To reply and agree personally relating to Caitlin and Kiri’s “….”… Absolutely, if I can reference “The Artist’s Way” book, JOURNAL write any and everything down first thing in am!, any ramble scramble senseless thought to allow the mind to get out of the way, one or three pages DAILY, it’s addictively satisfying, and RELEASING, journaling opens up the creative spirit inside, enables us to see how our mental layered emotional thoughts are just that..layers covering up what’s inside, hidden by the “movie trailer” of our daily lives. Works wonders for me,..I can feel when I need to journal, when I haven’t keep up with it. Similar to the on/off freight train, mental, ride of drinking coffee. I’m soo calmer inside and out, I can feel and hear my instincts, my voice become smoother, deeper, relaxed, as I am inside and out. As does eating natural and whole foods too. Thank you sharing the blog Sonnet.

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