Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the isness of the Now. You can’t argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Two years ago on this day, I began a yoga practice that would forever change my life. I stumbled out of bed at 6 am, rushed down the street from my apartment in the darkness, rain pounding against my face, and walked into my first class at my neighborhood hot yoga studio. I set out my old, worn pink yoga mat, and lay down on the floor.
Laying in savasana (corpse pose) under the dim studio lights, I felt a flurry of emotions: sadness, exhaustion, confusion.
What happened to my life? Who am I?
What am I even doing here? I’m not a yoga person?!
Just five days earlier I moved out of the home I had shared with my partner of seven and a half years and into a tiny studio apartment. I was living alone for the first time since college and felt like I was somewhere between a midlife crisis and total breakdown. I had been up until 2 am the night before watching The Walking Dead, thinking to myself that I didn’t know how I was going to get through this all. To say I was heartbroken, lost, and confused was putting it lightly. But, somewhere inside of me, I knew this was my chance to dig deep into self-reflection and I found my way to yoga.
I had tried yoga many, many times throughout the years. Visiting different studios and trying different types of yoga with different instructors. As much as I had ambitions of being a “cool, hip yogi,” I never felt like yoga was for me. Until, one day, it was.
And so, on that gloomy October morning, I began my relationship with yoga… and my relationship with myself.